We started off the Parenting style series by checking if you are an authoritative or a neglecting parent.

So…. let’s talk about the last 2 (Permissive and Authoritarian) and then you can know which category you fall into:

Permissive

Permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting is another potentially harmful style of parenting. These parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation. The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very nurturing and loving. The negatives, however, outweigh this benefit. Few rules are set for the children of permissive parents, and the rules are inconsistent when they do exist. This lack of structure causes these children to grow up with little self-discipline and self-control. Some parents adopt this method as an extreme opposite approach to their authoritarian upbringing, while others are simply afraid to do anything that may upset their child.

How to recognize if you are a permissive parent:

• Do you not have set limits or rules for your child?
• Do you often compromise  your rules to accommodate your child’s mood?
• Do you avoid conflict with your child?
• Do you have a willingness to be your child’s best friend rather than their parent?
• Do you often bribe your child to do things with large rewards?

It may seem as though this would be a child’s favorite parenting style as it provides a sense of freedom without consequences, however, children crave a sense of structure to make them feel safe and. It is important in a child’s development for there to be clear cut parental and child roles. Permissive parenting can have long-term damaging effects.

Other damaging effects of permissive parenting include:

• insecurity in children from  lack of set boundaries
• poor social skills, such as sharing, from lack of discipline
• self-centeredness

It is important for the permissive parent to begin to set boundaries and rules for their child, while still being responsive before it is too late .

Authoritarian

Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by parents who are demanding but not responsive. Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue between parent and child and expect children to follow a strict set of rules and expectations. They usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or teach a lesson.

How to recognize if you are an authoritarian:

• Do you have very strict rules that you believe should be followed no matter what?
• Do you often find yourself offering no explanations for the rules other than “Because I said so?”
• Do you give your child few choices and decisions about their own life?
• Do you find yourself utilizing punishment as a means of getting your child to do what you ask?
• Are you reserved in the amount of warmth and nurturing you show your child?

While the structure and rules of an authoritarian parent are necessary for healthy child development, all good things can be overdone. It is important to balance out the provided structure with open communication so the child knows exactly why it is important for them to follow the rules placed in front of them. Children of authoritarian parents are prone to having low self-esteem, being fearful or shy, associating obedience with love, having difficulty in social situations, and possibly misbehaving when outside of parental care.

Hmmm……. really insightful…… I now know where i fall……………