Before I became pregnant, Family and friends were asking questions and also talk about us trying for a baby boy, some of my friends even suggested that I see an expert….lol…… After I found out I was pregnant and eventually told my mum-in-law about it, all she talked about was (jokingly though) that she believes this one coming is a boy that will carry on the family name as my husband is the only son out of 7 kids. My husband and I just said Amen
In a way I also started praying that it be a boy , I had my first scan done and found out that we were expecting……… A beautiful Baby Girl.
Because everyone was all about the “Make a baby boy ” epistle when I’m not God, When I told hubby about it, I could tell that he was a bit depressed on finding out we were expecting a girl. I was a bit skeptical on whether to tell my mother-in-law or not but I eventually did and guess what she said “ It doesn’t matter, may be the next one will be a baby boy”. I smiled and within me I know and I’m sure that I am done with baby making.
But then, I thought about it deeply that we humans can be very unappreciative of things we get without sweating. God gave me healthy children that many women will do anything to get.
Right now, I just want a healthy and happy child. I can’t turn myself into a baby-making machine all in the name of trying for a boy to carry on the family name baton.
My daughters will bring forth the baby boys If God so will . I rest my casehmmm………. What about those that have all boys and no girl ……
What do you think about this mama’s tale ?
- Spoons were often used to feed infants and were known as “pap boats.” Expensive and elaborate versions were available to those who could afford it. The expression “born with a silver spoon in one’s mouth” probably evolved around the 16th century
- Depending on family economics, in the 18th century, babies were fed a kind of gruel made of flour and water. Known as “pap,” “panda,” or “caudle,”.
- Up until the 7th century, doctors believed many infant sicknesses were caused by the presence of too much acid in the stomach. Babies were fed chalk, crushed eggshells, coral, and oyster shells mixed with their gruel to counteract the acidity.
- The Greeks thought that mother’s milk was produced in the uterus and transported to the breast by special vessels in the body. There existed since the Middle Ages a vague awareness that breast milk provided some protection against sickness—but colostrum, the fluid secreted after birth, was considered dangerous, and women were advised not to feed the newborn baby for a few days. An older child would draw the breast milk first.
- Milk was not pasteurized until the 1890s and was avoided, particularly for infants, because people believed their child would grow up to resemble the animal.
- Unruly babies were thought to be the result of inferior breast milk.
Thank You for this blog where you get to share your stories without being crucified. I will like to talk about my first child’s birthday party .
My name is Badmus, a dad of 1 . This is what is happening right now and I am yet to understand the logic or reasoning behind throwing a big party for a child that doesn’t even understand what is going on around him.
My first fruit is turning ONE! yaay! The excitement and the joy in my family is out of this world, everyone including my sister who lives in Dublin has been counting down to June.
Normally when there is a function to prepare for, my wife does the estimate and we “negotiate” on the bill. But when she brought the bill for Andy’s party, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing; I thought to myself, there has to be something wrong with my wife. i told her outright that the bill wouldn’t fly… I mean……..
Who calls a DJ and a live band for a baby’s birthday party?
Who does party packs for kids and also souvenirs for adults? You don’t even want to know how much each gift pack cost.
Who pays a party planner and still plan for a “back up food” just in case?
What is the assurance that it won’t rain on that day?
So because we were TTC for 4years, we should spend half of our savings on throwing a first birthday party. No…… I am a reasonable young man, I can’t sweat and hustle for years and pour it on a party!
Anyways, I told her we are only going to be doing cake, party packs for the kids (friends and families only!), Photography, food and drinks. This will be done in the house not at an event centre as she proposed.
She has been sending everyone to talk to me about it, that she is ready to “compromise” and have the party small. But I still don’t see any reason for it.
It’s either friends and families only or nothing! Is it his wedding day?
Hahahaha…… this write-up sent me laughing…… This dad is angry …….. But truly DJ and Live Band ?
Myself and my partner have been living together for over 3 years.We both have good jobs and are both in our early 30’s.Ours was love at first sight and we knew right away we wanted to be together. We have a cute son to show for this.
6 months into our relationship and I found out that I was pregnant, I was already 7weeks gone and I didn’t know until my period refused to show up. On finding out, we were both not expecting it but glad it happened.
I was hoping for a girl and wanted her so badly because of the beautiful baby girl outfits I see on social media. He on the other hand was indifferent about the sex, he just wanted an healthy baby. At 27wks I had my first scan ( I didn’t do it earlier because I wanted an accurate gender reveal ). I found out I was having a boy and I wasn’t super elated. Please don’t judge me, it’s not like I wasn’t happy but you know when you are hoping for something and got something else so that joy was a bit reduced. I love my son, he is the cutest and has the coolest smile.
My handsome is 2 years old now and I have been trying to convince my boo to let us have another child ( hopefully a girl this time ) . My partner feels we should get married first , he would prefer to have another child within wedlock but considering the fact that we have been living together now for over 3 years and he is yet to pop the question, I am slightly disturbed that no 2 might not come.
Right now, all I want is another baby ( girl or boy ) , a baby sister or brother for my son . We both love and respect each other and marriage shouldn’t stop us from having a family. I don’t want to turn 40 and still be dealing diapers.
Bottles – check, toys – check, extra cloths – check, diapers – just a few since it’s a family visit,….the ‘necessaries’ and the ‘non-necessaries’…… the excitement of travelling abroad for the first time was so overwhelming and the fact that i was going with my clingy 7months old son, made me even more excited!
It was a connecting flight from Lagos- Frankfurt- London …… My mother packed everything she laid her eyes on, including dried ewedu, dried okro, dried locust beans and even asked, if I would want moi moi to eat on the plane…… we packed it all (or so I thought).
Before 6am, we were already at the airport. The whole family was there except my father. We had 4 big boxes, 2 hand luggage and my big handbag with my son’s necessaries in it. I used a baby carrier because my son refused to sit in the baby stroller.
My husband kept laughing at me and he said “Babe! all you are packing are too much, as you will have little or no need for them. I told you my dad will be at the airport and we will all be taking the train home.
As soon as we were cleared for take off, my baby started fussing for food. I prepared his bottle and fed him. I had read somewhere that your baby’s feeding bottles and formula should be the first thing in your bag, so I had packed the formula in 4 small tomme tippee dispensers, since he is not a frequent eater.
Then it started…… as the pressure in his ears increased, my baby cried harder like a kidnapped innocent man. I was confused, close to tears and disoriented. My hubby and I gave him everything but he refused.
I felt like a bad mum and even though the man seated beside me couldn’t say a word, the frustration on his face was quite obvious.
As the screaming escalated, the flight attendant came to me and asked if he was sick or something (of course being all smiley and as polite as her training required) … me that i didn’t even have time for ejo wewe ( chit chat). With my face all screwed together i said “No, he is not sick and i have tried giving him everything but he is not yielding” then she said “Sorry bout that… please keep trying”, I was angry …really angry but my husband calmed me down and told me not to say a word.
At last we got to frankfurt! and then the baby carrier ripped off….. fellow moms, I didn’t even wait one minute to bring out my wrapper and strap him to my back not minding the fact that I was a novice in this travelling business and then God answered my prayers… he slept off! …. at that moment, i testified that God doesn’t delay answering prayers except if not necessary.
My baby slept all through till we got to London….. tears ran down my eyes…tears of joy !
LESSONS LEARNT, TIPS & SUGGESTIONS
- Try to travel during your babies bedtime because when your baby sleeps through the trip, you are happy and so is your neighbor.
- Take a well stocked diaper bag, and don’t forget his favourite cartoon on a tablet if he/she is a cartoon lover as this is a great source of distraction.
- If your flight is not very full, you can ask your neighbors to sit elsewhere (or you even move) so that you and your hubby can sit across each other with the middle space free so that you can lay him down at intervals.
- Ignore dirty looks, if you have done everything possible, don’t just be bothered .
- Even if your baby likes the stroller or the baby carrier….. please pack a wrapper ( you don’t want to carry the baby on your hips or in your arms trust me) , except you are travelling with a nanny.
- Apologise to your neighbour as soon as you land….. It shows that you understand and empathise with him/her.
…….. Mummy Mo’ ( mother of 1… expecting no 2) writes from Lagos
I don’t seem to understand how this babies operate, my baby sleeps in my room but in her cot. right now she sleeps through the night except when i wake up, even if i wake up to pee in the middle of the night, she will start to stir like she is a baby alarm with a machine that tells her when mummy flinches…. And she does this every single day! …. what I do now is to try not to wake up to pee except when i am really pressed or do anything until morning when she wakes up (Her morning is 5.30a.m ).
I started noticing this when she was 3 months old. Now that she is 6 months old, she doesn’t seem to be ready to stop this habit any time soon. Though my mum told me to try to change her sleep pattern but I am too scared to do it because you never can tell the tantrum she would throw. I will rather just let her be and wait for her to outgrow this habit.
Sometimes, I feel like this is unique to her but my mom colleagues tell me many babies are like that and that I am very lucky she sleeps through the night.
I am really amused and amazed…… and I still feel like she is the only baby alarm clock!
Amanda from undisclosed
……. She is not the only one and i think you are truly lucky she sleeps through the night
We started off the Parenting style series by checking if you are an authoritative or a neglecting parent.
So…. let’s talk about the last 2 (Permissive and Authoritarian) and then you can know which category you fall into:
Permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting is another potentially harmful style of parenting. These parents are responsive but not demanding. These parents tend to be lenient while trying to avoid confrontation. The benefit of this parenting style is that they are usually very nurturing and loving. The negatives, however, outweigh this benefit. Few rules are set for the children of permissive parents, and the rules are inconsistent when they do exist. This lack of structure causes these children to grow up with little self-discipline and self-control. Some parents adopt this method as an extreme opposite approach to their authoritarian upbringing, while others are simply afraid to do anything that may upset their child.
How to recognize if you are a permissive parent:
- Do you not have set limits or rules for your child?
- Do you often compromise your rules to accommodate your child’s mood?
- Do you avoid conflict with your child?
- Do you have a willingness to be your child’s best friend rather than their parent?
- Do you often bribe your child to do things with large rewards?
It may seem as though this would be a child’s favorite parenting style as it provides a sense of freedom without consequences, however, children crave a sense of structure to make them feel safe and. It is important in a child’s development for there to be clear cut parental and child roles. Permissive parenting can have long-term damaging effects.
Other damaging effects of permissive parenting include:
- insecurity in children from lack of set boundaries
- poor social skills, such as sharing, from lack of discipline
It is important for the permissive parent to begin to set boundaries and rules for their child, while still being responsive before it is too late .
Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting, is characterized by parents who are demanding but not responsive. Authoritarian parents allow for little open dialogue between parent and child and expect children to follow a strict set of rules and expectations. They usually rely on punishment to demand obedience or teach a lesson.
How to recognize if you are an authoritarian:
- Do you have very strict rules that you believe should be followed no matter what?
- Do you often find yourself offering no explanations for the rules other than “Because I said so?”
- Do you give your child few choices and decisions about their own life?
- Do you find yourself utilizing punishment as a means of getting your child to do what you ask?
- Are you reserved in the amount of warmth and nurturing you show your child?
While the structure and rules of an authoritarian parent are necessary for healthy child development, all good things can be overdone. It is important to balance out the provided structure with open communication so the child knows exactly why it is important for them to follow the rules placed in front of them. Children of authoritarian parents are prone to having low self-esteem, being fearful or shy, associating obedience with love, having difficulty in social situations, and possibly misbehaving when outside of parental care.
Hmmm……. really insightful…… I now know where i fall……………
In order to read the earlier post, kindly click on this.